- <@dalbone> Hai gize
- <@dalbone> I left my computer unlocked
- <@veruus> good work
- <@veruus> someone should say that you like cocks
- <@dalbone> love em
Recruiters from Hell
- <@veruus> Dear Candidate,
- <@veruus> We have an urgent requirement with our client for : Machine Operator_at Sandy UT,UT.
- <@veruus> O_o
- <@veruus> what
- <@veruus> thefuck
- <@ahhdem> lolol
- <@ahhdem> veruus: did you piss someone off?
- <@veruus> what the fuck is in my fucking resume?
- <@veruus> no shit, right?
- <@ahhdem> lol
Jared, this kind’ve looks like you
^ I don’t know how to feel about this. Mostly because you aren’t wrong.
(Source: triple-six-crew, via beerandbeards)
(Source: anthonybourdain)
house sitting fallout
- <phunk> Did you steal our pepper shaker? I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed (and under-seasoned.)
- <veruus> Sorry for the late response, but no. Fairly certain, anyway. Good luck though.
- "Dude, what's my password on this computer?"
- "...*I* don't know."
- "The password hint says 'What am I doing now?'."
- "'Sucking at computers'? I don't know, man."
Dog Log - Day 1
- Took charge of post and all property in view.
- Read directions.
- Ate chocolates which were thoughtfully left behind for my enjoyment.
- Gave dogs prescribed food and medication. They seem unsure of situation.
- Inventoried fridge/freezer/liquor-cabinet. Targets acquired.
- Took dogs out for poops.
- Cooked sausages. (unknown provenance)
- Found bacon grease and garlic in fridge during second reconnoitering of refrigerator. Added to sausages. Also, range hood seems to be in proper working order. (note: find match for paint from unscorched area of ceiling)
- Dogs enjoy peanut butter pretzels. Still seem unsure.
- Guacamole Grape Truffles seem to be a hit with Haley (7!). Storm only had 3.
- Hammock seems to be in fine working order.
- Inventoried bedroom. Unsure what to make of marital aid left on pillow.
- Beer. Check.
- Sausages. (Consuming mid-post)
- Pita chips. Booyah.
- Guacamole could use slightly less jalepeño. Call carpet cleaner on Monday.
- Oh. There’s a back page on these directions…
- Calling vet’s number which was thoughtfully left behind for me…
- Dammit. Forgot my toothbrush.
- Disregard. Found a really cool electric one. Heh. It tickles.
